I am feeling all stressed by this post by Temerity Jane: You Don't Know My Hypothetical Future Child. Should I Have It?"---because on one hand YES YES OH GOD YES, and on the other hand, last week there was a perfectly legitimate reason to give my 5th grader permission to cross a busy street with a friend without any grown-ups helping them, and I was so stressed out about it I started crying, and even though everything was fine and he got across the street and back again without being squashed, ever since then I've been continually stressed by the idea that THE CHILDREN'S LIVES ARE IN THEIR HANDS and, simultaneously, OUR HAPPINESS IS DEPENDENT ON THOSE LIVES, and, from that, WHY THE HELL DID WE HAVE CHILDREN WHEN ALL IT IS IS SUFFERING AND EXPENSE AND POTENTIAL DEATH-WISH-INSPIRING LOSS?? If one of my children died, I would EMBRACE DEATH and I am not exaggerating even slightly. So what to advise someone considering children? It is the most wonderful thing that can ever happen, and it will make you consider scenarios in which you would embrace death? That doesn't really fit on a "Congratulations on your pregnancy!" card.
Or maybe I am stressed because a cat that doesn't belong to us is in our basement. We have the cat door set to "in only," so that Benchley can always come into the house but can't go out unless we let him out, or unless he darts sneakily past us as we open the front door. So anyway, an unknown cat came into the cat door and can't get out, and it's not wearing a collar so I feel responsible for its well-being, but it's so scared of us it's hiding in the basement and I can't find it, and what if its owners are worried about it RIGHT NOW? Or what if it is a stray and it's our next cat and all of this is part of The Story of How We Got Our Next Cat? And meanwhile Paul is saying, "Set the cat door to in/out, why don't you," and how can he find the situation so simple?
Or maybe the problem is that my headcold morphed into my annual Horrible Coughing Thing, where I cough and cough and cough and cough and cough and cough and cough and cough and cough and cough at 2:00 in the morning, and so I can't get back to sleep even though I switch from the bed to the recliner to be more upright, and when I wake up at 5:30 I feel as if coffee might help but then it doesn't really. And then I wonder if it could be asthma, but it doesn't really fit the symptoms of asthma, and whenever I go to a doctor he's all, "OH, well, a virus has to run its course, careless little dismissive laugh as if you're being a hypochondriac about nothing!"
Well! A person might turn to Oreos in circumstances such as these! But a person is continuing to eat RAW SPINACH despite a lack of precipitous weight loss as a result of such righteousness, and so a person might feel VERY SORRY FOR HERSELF.
Life-improving products, part 4 - (Continued from part 1, part 2, and part 3.) Stearns Youth Life Vest (photo from Amazon.com). I’d been too scared to take the kids to any body of water oth...