November 6, 2009

Startling News

So let's see, what's new around here.

William had a fever and a cough last weekend but is mostly better now. And this morning Edward woke up with a runny nose and now has a fever, and so I am back in the land of "Do I let the fever do its virus-frying work? Or is this high enough that I should try to bring it down?"

Also, I got two cute sweaters at Goodwill for $1.99 each: a triceratops sweater for Henry and a Baby Gap zip-up rainbow-striped jacket/sweater for Elizabeth. I wish Goodwill wasn't so far from our house.

Also, I made both brownies and fudge in one day, and I forgot the salt in the brownies and I overcooked the fudge, so dang it.

Also, my mother-in-law died. I know. I am completely shocked. It was very sudden, and now I can stop worrying about the fact that she had no health insurance and at any time could have developed a bankrupting health problem. And now Paul will be gone for a week, so if you're stalking me could you keep an eye out for dangerous criminals around the house? Kthanx.

This is just about the most awk of all awk announcements, isn't it? I mean, what are you supposed to say, if you know I am not flattened with grief, but on the other hand death is often a shock and it would be kind of icky if the comment section were...well, it would be icky. So here we are stuck, looking at each other with eyebrows as high as they can go, speechless. Let's just read each other's minds, and then clink our glasses together and take a big quaff in memory of my mother-in-law. *Quaff*

154 comments:

Melospiza said...

*GASP*

I'm sorry to hear this, Swistle, even if maybe your MIL was not the sort of person who made my heart warm with gladness...it's still sad. It's also a little like the death of a celebrity, only one of those celebrities whom no one I know in real life has ever heard of. I'll be thinking of you, Swistle, and your family, and here: I'll drink to the memory of your MIL as well. *drink* And then another drink to the health and long, happy life of the rest of the Swistle family. *drink*

And then some hugs, because who doesn't need a hug?

fairydogmother said...

Weeks like this are why tequila was invented. I'm quite certain this is a historical fact. *slides tequila bottle over*

Lola said...

Well how about I just say that the Swistle family (collectively) have my sympathies? How are the kids? Is this the first death they've experienced? I hope everyone is okay.

Type (little) a said...

No matter how complicated your relationship was, it's still a loss. You and your whole family have my sincerest condolences.

She got to see the kids before she died and wasn't sick, so they don't have to remember her in a hospital bed. That's a blessing.

Shannon said...

Would it be totally insensitive if I asked what you plan to do with the MIL dishes? Seriously though, condolences.

Constance Squared said...

So sorry for the family. Especially Paul. No matter the relationship, it can't be easy to lose a parent. And for the kids, who hopefully loved her and had no idea how difficult she could be.

Erica said...

I'm very sorry for Paul that his mother passed away. Also, I'm sorry that the kids have lost their grandmother.

*Quaff*

Melinda said...

*eyebrows up* WOW. Just wow. My thoughts are with you at this awk and odd time. There is something WEIRD afoot in the world these days. Everything is just...strange. *clinks glass and slugs one back with you*

Leah said...

Wow. Yes, startling news is right. My eyebrows went waaaay up and then I got to that part of the blog post where you said they'd be up and I was like "well yep, huh, she's right."

I'll keep you guys in my prayers as you deal with everything.

ComfyMom~Stacey said...

OMG! wow! You and your family have my condolences.

Sorry to hear about the brownies & the fudge too. it's been a tough week. You should have some wine.

Mommy Daisy said...

Wow! I had to reread that...several times. I'm so sorry for Paul. I hope he's dealing OK. And I'm glad that the kids got to spend time with her recently.

Sixminutes said...

I'm sorry. I lost a less-than-nice relative earlier in the year and it's weird. I hope the rest of your family is doing ok. How is your husband taking it?

shriek house said...

With eyebrows pasted to my hairline, I quaff and offer sincere condolences of whatever variety are most appropriate and/or helpful.

Amy said...

Wow! That made me gasp loud enough for my husband to ask what was wrong. My condolences to your family.

Quaff

Anonymous said...

Wow, I am sorry Swistle. I have a similar relationship with my MIL as you had, and I know I would still be feeling sick right now. I hope you, Paul and the children are okay, and you will pull through this loss stronger than you were before. Your family will be in my prayers.

divrchk said...

Wow! As much as she was not the nicest, thank goodness she just visited and hopefully the kids will have some nice memories of her teaching them to knit and such. My condolences to all of you.

Linda said...

Wow, that's crazy and sudden. I hope Paul's okay. It's so hard to lose a mom, probably even one you're not super close to.

Steph the WonderWorrier said...

Oh wow. That's so odd. It is just like how the others said -- sort of like the death of a celebrity. You didn't KNOW the person, so you don't feel "GRIEF" per se... but you did hear/read about them so you sort of feel like they were a part of your life... wow.

Well. Hrm. Is it weird that the first thing I thought of was seriously, "now you don't have to do a power clean before each October". Hrm.

I am sorry though, since death is never truly a nice thing and I'm sorry for Paul and the kids, and such. xo.

That seems so very unexpected to me, your blog reader, so I can't even imagine what a shock it is for you guys.

d e v a n said...

woah. I had to re-read and the eyebrows are definitely raised. wow.
What a shock. Condolences to you guys, especially Paul!

Jana said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope her last visit was an overall good one that leaves the kids (and Paul) with some great memories. Like the others, I was completely shocked by your announcement, but I almost wrote exactly what Shannon did - what will happen to the mother-in-law dishes?

Shelly Overlook said...

Holy cow! I am sorry for the family, but not sorry you no longer have to endure the torturous visits. Quaff indeed!

Swistle said...

Lola- The kids are taking it okay. I think it helped that two of our cats died in the last few months, because at least the concept of death had already been explained---though it was the first time a person they knew died. And they only saw my MIL once a year, so they weren't strongly attached.

Shannon- !! I hadn't thought of it yet! These new things keep striking me!

TJ said...

I just... duuuuuude.

Wenderina said...

Well. Um. Since I've been reading your blog for all of about 1 day I'm not sure how to comment here, but will share one thing that may make you laugh. When I read fairydogmother's comment I thought she wrote:

Weeks like this are why tequila was invented. I'm quite certain this is a HYSTERICAL fact. *slides tequila bottle over*

Kind of fits too, don't you think?

Swistle said...

Sixminutes- I can't tell. He seems okay, but he was home only a short time before he left, and most of the time he was home he was on the phone notifying family and making arrangements. His eyebrows were about the same height as mine.

clueless but hopeful mama said...

Oh wow. I, too, had to reread a couple of times because.... wow.

I'm stunned, as I'm sure are you (but, of course more so, since you actually KNEW HER.). I'm so sorry for your family's loss.

Jen_Ann_W said...

Holy crap!
Thoughts & best wishes to your fam while dealing with your loss.
(I hear chocolate can have a very therapeutic effect as well.)

Jess said...

Wait...what?

I am sorry for your family's loss. I am speechless as it seems the rest are. I hope you'll give us some more details, like how Paul and the kids are. And is it too weird to ask how she passed? Like if it was sudden I hope not sudden and tragic, but sudden and go-in-your-sleep is still a shock.

Jewels said...

Oh. Wow. Uh. Uh.

Quaff.

That's all I got.

Rebecca said...

Oh, my gosh. I am sorry for your family's loss, especially Paul and the kids.

Though she was a horror to have as a visitor, I know your goal was to help your kids try to create some good memories of her and you put significant effort forth to make that happen. (I have great respect for that motive.) Here's to hoping that they maintain those memories, without the yucky ones. I keep thinking of Rob, and how she taught him to knit. I hope that when he grows up, that is a warm memory he can take from his interaction from her.

My condolences to all.

Meredith said...

Wow--I just don't know what to say to that. Condolences.

Laura said...

How handy that I've already got wine in my glass, all ready to go. Clink! My thoughts are with you all.

beyond said...

wow. my sympathies to you and your family.

Lis said...

I'm sorry to hear about your MIL. I hope that Paul is handling it okay.

Chrissy said...

I am so sorry for your loss.

Swistle said...

Jess- The kids seem fine: Henry and Edward are clueless, and Elizabeth and Rob are big TALKERS, so the only one I'm going to have to remember to monitor is William who sometimes keeps things to himself. Paul seemed okay, although I only saw him in the bustle of arrangements, so I'm looking forward to seeing him and talking with him when he's back.

It was her heart. She just dropped---wouldn't have known what hit her. And she was on her way to get into her car, so the timing was good.

Southern jezeBelle said...

Well it is still a sad situation especially for Paul and the kids.however on a bright note you no longer have to swig vodka in the laundry room or get out special dishes or worry about using salt. *quaff*

bouncyczech said...

*GASP*

But...it's so sudden! I am so sorry for your loss...

Nowheymama said...

I...wow. It's nice that the kids just saw her and have some recent memories of knitting with her and whathaveyou.

My condolences to you all, especially Paul.

Angie said...

I'm sorry for your family.

Clarabella said...

I will echo a previous commenter who said that no matter the tension of the relationship, it's still a death in the family and therefore my condolences go out to you and Paul and the kids. I think you deserve a drink tonight, lady! Cheers.

stephanie said...

This is going to sound horrible, but I don't mean in a horrible way. At all. Thank God this didn't happen while she was visiting you. Ugh.

And ::clink::

Christina said...

Ok, I knew you were going to slam us w/ some news but um... holy shit. I just had to blink at my screen for about 10 seconds. TEH MIL!? Wow.

Then I thought, you know what? She just visited w/ them so the kids probably have some fresh memories of their grandmother. And also, you just posted the KFed post, which is majorly gracious in accepting that while you may not like HER, you liked what she was visiting your kids and you can find some understanding and insight in there. It's good that both of those things just happened last month.

Regardless! Condolences, thoughts, and prayers to you and your family and to Paul for his trip and all that has to be dealt w/ during that...

jonniker said...

My mouth is very nearly on the floor, and my eyebrows are knitted together all puzzled-like, because ... whaa? I actually thought you were joking, and it wasn't until I read all of the comments that I realized that no, actually, you were not.

O.M.G.

I'm so sorry for your family. Truly.

Badness Jones said...

I think it's sometimes harder to lose a loved one when your relationship isn't great - there's no time left to make amends. My condolences to all of you. I'll raise my glass to your MIL as soon as my kids leave me alone long enough that I can drink.

Mairzy said...

All of the above.

-- Mairzy

Jess said...

Oh my god! I find it difficult to wrap my mind around the fact that the MIL who died is the same one who we always read and talk about. I am sorry for your family, especially for Paul who has lost his mother, and your kids who have lost a grandmother.

Also, as a side note, I agree that it can sometimes be more difficult, in a way, to lose somebody you had complex feelings about. Because at least if it is someone that you love unabashedly, the emotional process is somewhat straightforward, you know? And this way it's challenging for you to own your feelings and know what they are and also be there for your husband and kids as they go through their own emotional periods that might be different from yours.

You are all in my thoughts.

Sarah said...

*Quaff*

I'm glad the kids got to see her before she died.

I hope her passing was quick and peaceful. I hope that someday soon her memory will bring you contentment. And I hope that you will be satisfied in how you handled your part in a challenging relationship.

Blessings.

Jen said...

I'm so sorry for your family's loss. I'll be thinking about you and yours. All the best during this difficult time.

And I'll *Quaff* as well.

maggie said...

Oh my. I'm so sorry for your family. I echo everyone else who mentioned what a blessing it is that she had just seen her grandchildren. Will now go fill up my glass.

Nann said...

My mouth dropped and I had to reread as well.
I am so sorry for Paul. Wishing you strenth in this difficult and akward time.

Janet said...

I'm speechless. May she rest in peace.

St said...

Gosh, it's so weird that she was like, just here.
I think I have that same sweater/jacket! I picked it up at a kids consignment shop a couple of weeks ago. So cute.

Becky said...

I'm so sorry for your family's loss.

*quaff* (with jazz hands)

Emily said...

So sorry, Swistle. Thoughts and prayers for your family and for Paul. Hope the week goes by fast so he can come back home and be with you.

Amy Q said...

I am so sorry Swistle. Definitely a complicated process, and sudden ....wow. Will be thinking of all of you.

Bitts said...

Wow.

*eyebrows!*

Quaff.

Good that she just had a visit. Hope Paul is hanging in. Coach the kids through it as best you can.

Wow. I am shaking my head in puzzlement. Wow.

Melissa H said...

I did NOT see that one coming. Like many commenters I'm glad she was able to visit so recently and teach your son to knit--something he will remember of her.

Leeann said...

Hey Swistle and Fam,

Dang, that is one heck of a shocker.

Big hugs to Paul b/c no matter the relationship with one's mother, it is still the loss of a pivotal family member. :-(

I hope that the stories and quirks of the MIL become warm, funny stories to share as your kids grow up.

And I think we have all learned that one MUST EAT SALT!

:::quaffle quaffle:::

Katy said...

I'm sorry for your loss. Even if you are not flattened with grief, I'm sure that your husband is still dealing with his fair share. I'm also really sorry that you'll be dealing with five kids by yourself. Ugh.

wberkebile said...

God bless, Swistle. I wish I had more words to say, but I'll be thinking of you and your family. Many hugs.

Annika said...

Well. I wondered how you could possibly follow up your last post.

lisa said...

Wow...Im guessing this was very sudden/unexpected? Im sorry for your loss. Maybe it was sort of a blessing in disguise that she was just there so the kids could see her one more time.

Christina said...

What she said and her and her and her and OH MY all of these comments express exactly the thoughts I was having. I had to reread that THREE times to get it to sink in.

My condolences to you and your family.

Ummm what's a quaff? Too lazy to google.

Marie Green said...

I really am shocked. I thought you were joking, I really did. I had to sit here and let it think in. I'm really sorry for your family. Really, I am.

Omaha Mama said...

And you've all been knitting since her visit, which will be a lovely memory for your kids. I'm so sorry for your family, and what is sure to be a tough week for you without your partner. And a tough week for him for all of the other crap.
Sorry and sorry and sorry.

Swistle said...

Christina- Like a big swig! Probably I should have written "swig." I was thinking of Snoopy---I think he quaffs.

Christine said...

Wow. Eyebrows here raised for sure.

That said, I'm still sorry for you and Paul and the kids for having to deal with this.

Jen said...

I am so sorry. My sympathies go to all of the Thistles. I hope all the arrangements go smoothly.

I love the idea of a triceratops sweater. Does Henry know about the addition to his dinosaur wardrobe yet? Picture?

desperate housewife said...

I'm really sorry for what your family is going through. The weirdness of losing someone about whom you feel a little... iffy is sometimes harder than just straight up, genuine grief. IMO, anyways.

Jennifer H said...

I'm sorry about your family's loss, and I'm also sorry that you never got to have the mother-in-law relationship that you wanted, or at least one that was pleasant and easy. That, in itself, seems grief-worthy.

Hotch Potchery said...

You are completely psychic my eyebrows were quite raised, so much so that Mr. P asked me what happened.

I am sorry for Paul and for you being alone for a week, and for the kids.

Fiona Picklebottom said...

Well, hmmm... yes, OK sickness and kids. Mine have also been sick. Monday and Tuesday Beth had cough and fever, Jo has had a cough since Wednesday and tonight Amy has a fever.

Also, I have been hitting thrift stores lately looking for dressers for Jo and Beth.

Also, I made brownies today too. But out of a box, so I couldn't screw them up.

Also... well that's it. The only thing left to discuss is something I suck at discussing, so I will just behave as if nothing was mentioned about it at all. Because that's how I handle those kinds of things. Total avoidance.

Kristi said...

Holy shit Swistle! Do you think she can read this blog now, and like, all the backposts?!

Sorry - I'm kinda insensitive when it comes to awk situations. Thinking of you and your great fam (esp Paul) :)

pseudostoops said...

Wow, Swistle. Thinking of all of you guys. Just because it's complicated when she's there doesn't make it simple that she's gone, you know? quaffquaffquaff

Steph the WonderWorrier said...

Kristi: I thought of that but didn't say it, LOL.... Not gonna lie, I do wonder if people who die can check in on you anytime they want, and if they end up finding out your "secrets" and such... I certainly hope not.

Portia said...

I think it is often harder to process losing someone when you haven't had a smooth relationship -- particularly when it's a parent. There's so much baggage and mixed relief and guilt and grief.
It's nice that the kids saw her recently and hopefully have ok (?) memories of her. I'm sure, though, that this is very hard on Paul, and I don't doubt that it's tough on you as well. I'm thinking of all of you.

Michelle said...

Regardless of your relationship with her, Paul has lost his mother. I'll say a little prayer for peace tonight.

SLynnRo said...

Um, wow. I don't know why this is so shocking, but it is. It's like hearing Michael Jackson died.

And I understand how complex this must be for you. I have a very bad relationship with my grandmother- she was not invited to my wedding and we no longer speak. I often wonder how I will feel when she dies. Regretful? I don't know, I tend to think not which is scary in its own way.

Hobo Mama said...

Wow, that is quite sudden and startling. I'm very sorry to hear about the loss, and hope everyone can process it, in time. Also, I hope the fevers go away soon.

Kelly said...

Oh my god! my hand flew up to my mouth and my eyebrows, just like you said, flew up to the ceiling! wow. I'm so...sorry. for Paul.

I can't type anymore. I feel so inappopriate and going to hell-ish.

hugs.

Lippy said...

Holy crappola. This is what happens when I miss a few hours of internet. I am so sorry for your family. I hope the arrangements go easily for Paul. I know all the settling of affairs is fairly complicated, so ....... Wow. Wow.

Dynamita said...

I too am very insensitive on awk situations so I am going to join the others and say "Quaff"

Also, hey you won't have to worry about the Christmas prestent! (see? Insensitive)

Condolences

aibee said...

My condolences, Swistle, to you all.

Also, wow. Gobsmacked, I am.

Secret Mom Thoughts said...

My condolences to you and your family.

Kristi said...

WOW. Didn't see that coming. AWK is right. Sorry(ish).

Stacia said...

My goodness. I'm stunned. It's absolutely shocking for us, I can't imagine what it must be for you all, I hope you guys are okay.

LoriD said...

That really took me by surprise. I'm sorry for your family's loss.

Fran said...

I'm with Desperate Housewife on this one Swistle. My f-i-l passed during a period of estrangement and it was very awk. In any case, condolences to Paul and all of you
quaf AND swig

Jen said...

I'm sorry and thinking of you, but will also raise a glass tonight

Kate said...

Oh wow....wow. My condolences to you and your family.

Virginia Ruth said...

Um. Wow.

*Quaff*

(Okay, I didn't actually take a drink at 9 in the morning, but I will later)

I'm sorry for the loss of any hope of a good relationship with her for you. And I'm glad your kids got to spend time with her just recently, and that Rob can always say, "Yeah, I learned to knit from my grandma."

My thoughts are with you and Paul and the kids during this difficult time of processing.

Emblita said...

Oh Swistle,
I had a "complicated" relationship with my MIL too, she passed away a year ago (in October) and its weird.... my husband was very sad despite everything, she was his mom. And I swung between being sad, mostly for my hubby and feeling relieved immediately followed by feeling guilty for feeling relieved. It sucks all around.
Quaff indeed

Emblita said...

And my condolences to Paul and the kids

Farrell said...

WOW.
My condolences to Paul and the kids.

Bunnyslippers said...

Sorry to hear that! Here's a toast to the kids' grandma and the funny (if censored) stories you can tell them.

Saly said...

I know, I've emailed you already, but I am here to clink and quaff. XXXOOO, Sal

AnnetteK said...

Wow. Startling is right. My sympathies for all of your family.

Amy --- Just A Titch said...

Geez, this was stunning. Sending your family good thoughts...

Kate said...

My thoughts are with Paul and his family. What a shock.

Lisa said...

I was just thinking about what if she had shortened her visit. I'm kinda glad you got a typical LONG visit from MIL this time. I'm sure you would have thought, we shortened the visit and it was her FINAL visit with the children. Hopefully, in those many days, you have some final memories that would be nice to remember for the kids.

I'm sorry for your family's loss. Now you are stuck with Britney without the KFed.

Wendi said...

Oh, Swistle. Like many others mentioned, I had to re-read a few times for the news to sink in. I can only imagine the disbelief you and Paul must have felt when you first heard.

I know your relationship was strained but I always felt like you treated her very well, considering. I'm glad she got to visit with the kids so recently, and I send my condolences to Paul and your family. *quaff*

daysgoby said...

I clink my glass with yours and remember only the good stuff.

(Soon you will too.)

Tracy H. said...

Um, wow. Not really sure what to say. Definitely shocked, as I'm sure you are. Sending good vibes to your family.

g~ said...

Sorry for the loss of Paul's Mom and the kids' grandmother. Thank God kids don't generally notice how keerazy adults can be. It's only 12:30 here but I'll drink to that. Was actually planning on starting the process early in the day anyway (long week).

Captivated said...

Um, wow! Shocking indeed...wasn't she JUST visiting you? Was it due to an illness or accident? Anyway, my sympathies to Paul and your family. I too will drink to that.

Swistle said...

YES, she was JUST HERE! One month ago! It was her heart, which just suddenly stopped with no warning.

willikat said...

Whoa. Whoa.

Um, well, that's a pretty humane death as far as deaths go, right? That's crazy.

I'm sorry for your loss, however you place it on the loss spectrum. And esp. for Paul. Sad and scary to lose a parent.

Joanne said...

Well I am really sorry and shocked to hear this! Hence the exclamation points! I'm sorry for your husband and you and I'm glad she got in a visit with the kids, that must have made her happy. Good luck in the coming week!

Maureen said...

Wow, if this isn't a lesson on how life can change on a dime-I don't know what is.

I hope you can take comfort that you took the high road with your MIL, and that you did welcome her into your home.

Like all the others, I am very sorry for your loss.

Emma said...

My condolences - a glass raised to your family x

Jennifer, Playgroups Are No Place For Children said...

Oh my god! I'm shocked to read this. I'm sorry for your family's loss.

Seriously shocked. I had to re-read the last two paragraphs like five times.

Snarke said...

Holy cow! I'm so sorry for you and your family. The death of a loved one is always hard to handle (no matter how difficult the relationship might have been) but a sudden death is all that much harder. Nothing quite kicks you in the gut like that.

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. *hugs*

Erin said...

My first thought was that I'm really glad she got that last visit in with the grandkids. It is a good thing. Focus on that and let the rest go.

I am sorry & hoping you and everyone are doing okay.

Sam said...

Oh, Swistle. My thoughts are with all the family, especially Paul, who have to make the arrangements. Raising my coffee mug to MIL, who made for many an entertaining post. Good thought: now she can no longer Google you. Unless God shows her how.

Alias Mother said...

Oh, dear. I agree with the comments about how it can be harder to lose someone who isn't your dearest family member. My father was not the easiest guy, and when he died we all sort of stared at ech other for a while. It makes the grieving process more complicated, I think.

The good news is that once you are on the other side, all those things that used to make you want to secretly drink somehow add to the memories in a positive way. That's my experience anyway.

My best to you, Paul, and your family.

Lawyerish said...

Whoa. WHOA. Wait. What???

I had to read that at *least* three times, because...really? W...hoa.

My eyebrows are on the other side of my head.

And, obviously, my condolences to your family.

Um. {swig?}

Kelsey said...

Wow. I had to read that many times before it made any sense.

I'm sorry.

And I am glad she got to spend that time with the kids.

Whoa.

StephLove said...

Wow, Swistle. I don't know what to say that 118 others haven't already, but I'm sorry your family's loss.

Mimi said...

Whoa. I am startled for sure. Oh my.

The best to you and your family. I know a week without your husband around is hard. Take care of yourself!

-R- said...

The best to you and your family.

Jenni said...

That is shocking news. My best to all of you.

Question: How are you dealing w/your MIL's passing w/your kids? The older boys must have some idea of what is going on, but still, how do you explain this kind of thing? Just wondering.

Swistle said...

Jenni- This sounds so odd to say, but it really helped that the two cats died so recently. We'd been over the basics of death for that, and fielded all the follow-up "not coming back, no" issues, and so this was ALMOST (though no, not really) "Remember the cats? Same with Grandma." Elizabeth keeps saying things like, "I have one more question about Grandma. Do people get buried and then turn to dust, or turn to dust and then get buried?"

Carmen said...

Wow, my goodness, that is startling news. Please give my condolences to Paul & the kids. *Quaff*

cindy kay said...

I read this, and I must have froze at the computer because my son asked me, "What are you reading? You look totally zoned!" Well, I don't know if that's the exact word I'd use, but yes, totally SOMETHING. Um, can I just pat you on the shoulder or something?

brzeski said...

Wow. *gaping mouth*
Condolences to you and your family, especially Paul. Hope the kids do ok with this stunner.
Back to nature with you, MIL.

Kristin H said...

Wow, I'm sorry. My condolences to you all!

Sara said...

I'm so sorry for you and your family. Totally shocked because it seems like she was just at your house. That must make the news a little surreal for all of you. My thoughts and prayers are with you all!

Katie said...

What in the HELL?? I kept thinking you were going to say you were joking. This is SO WEIRD.

Can I ask what she died of?!

I'm very sorry. I am sure it will be hard for everyone.....but very weird, nontheless....

Katie said...

Just read it was her heart (Comments SKIMMER here!)

Again. I am sorry. But also totally baffled....

The Gori Wife said...

Oh my goodness. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I've always thought you handled your interactions with her exceptionally well, and i was always impressed that your encouraged her visits/relationship with her grandchildren despite any other issues you may have had. I'm sure you'll handle this situation with that same grace. Should you need anything from a completely stranger that likely lives very far away, I wish I could be of assistance.

Bethtastic said...

My condolences, Swistle and Swistle's kids and Paul.

What a complete shock.

salbilla said...

Holy crap!

Condolences to you and the fam - but yeah, holy crap!

Gina said...

Wow - that was definitely sudden! Regardless of what a whack job she was, I am sorry for your family's loss.

Barb @ getupandplay said...

Wow, just wow. I am so sorry for you all. I'm so glad that you were always the bigger person and that Paul and the kids had those visits to get to know her and spend time with her before she was gone. Condolences to the whole family.

Kira said...

*quaff*
I...uh...
*quaff*
*quaff*
May she rest in peace.

Sam said...

Oh dear how sad. Give everyone a hug, even yourself.

Lizzie said...

Well. I certainly didn't see that coming. AT ALL. At least it wasn't a long drawn-out process, though. That always makes things so much worse. Hugs to you guys.

Celeste said...

I'm just shocked. Your poor husband...now he has his dad to manage through this.

Your instincts regarding her visits were good ones; no regrets for you that you could have done better by her. Maybe William would like to make a little scrapbook of Grandma photos.

I'm sorry for your awk.

laura said...

Oh man. That is, um... crazy. Unexpected.

Many condolences to everyone.

Mocha said...

Well, you invite me over here (by leaving a comment - that always does it) and then I hear such sad news. My best to you all. I'd tell you to go enjoy the fudge and brownies to help you through it, but it doesn't sound like those turned out too well.

edbteach said...

Swistle - thinking of you and your family.

Kim said...

Swistle, I have nothing new to add that hasn't already been covered but I'll be thinking of you and your family and hoping things go as easy as they can in these situations.
For the record though, yes, my eyebrows are still way up there.

Kristin said...

My eyebrows hit the ceiling. Best to the whole Swistle clan. I'm glad the kids got to spend some time with her first.

*Quaff*

*Quaff Quaff*

CAQuincy said...

Um. Wow. I don't check the blogs for a few days and THIS happens.

Um...

Yes, I too had to read that a couple times before it sunk in.

My condolences to you and Paul and the family.

Not sure how to get the eyebrows down now. *Quaff*

Shelly said...

That is certainly shocking news. My condolences to you all, but especially Paul. I'm not close to my mother, so my heart goes out to him at the loss of his difficult mother. Best to you all.

Misty said...

Holy Fuck.

Am I allowed to say that?

Tara said...

Awkward, yes. I had an awkward loss 11 years ago (11 years? whoa) that left me feeling guilty for feeling not much of anything other than relieved. I would quaff right along with you, but I donated blood today and they said no alcohol, so I'll eat an extra helping of ice cream tonight instead. That counts, right?

Condolences to the family, and since I've read your newer posts, I'm also glad that the arrangements are going so reasonably all around.

Tina G said...

OMG. I haven't been here in about a week and look what happens. Yikes. I guess she is in a "better place" now.
Sorry for Paul and everyone else....

Anonymous said...

I just now read this - it's just so weird. I think of your MIL posts frequently - and enjoy them (because it's nice to know I'm not alone dealing with someone who makes pointed rude comments with a "who me?" air about them). I'm truly sorry for your family's loss. Is it weird that I'm thinking she ate bland food and it didn't help - so pile on the salt and caffiene and live a little...

heidi said...

My condolences to you too, and your family. I also had a...well...let's say "challenging" relationship with my MIL and she passed away a few years ago very suddenly. It was super weird, and yes... awk x100. She was not an angel (also had untreated mental illness), and to be honest, it was a very weird funeral too. Her kids were very conflicted about her passing, sometimes very sad thinking about good times, other times feeling very weird thinking about the bad times, and there was a palpable sense of relief that was heavily flavored with guilt. I think it's only now that they are all really processing it in their own ways and truly coming to peace. I totally agree with the above poster where it is somewhat easier to process the death of a loved one.
FWIW, I've always loved reading your posts about her visits, and smiling a little throughout them as I could identify for sure.

Elizabeth said...

I think I can honestly say that she was quite a lady, and she will be missed.

Misguided Mommy said...

hole e fuck

i go away for a while and the mil dies dear god where have i been

Stimey said...

Oh dear. I didn't see this and then you mentioned it in another post and I had to search back to find it. I'm sorry. Even if you had, um, conflicted feelings, it's still rough when a family member dies. Although I know kind of how you may feel. My husband's grandfather was a similar sort of relative to me, and I felt much the same way when he died.

Wow.