November 8, 2009

Okay. Okay. Everything is Going to be FINE.

Okay. Okay. I am already feeling WAY BETTER than several hours ago. The main thing is that Paul called with an update, and I don't know if you know this about me yet but I tend to PANIC ABOUT THE UNKNOWN, and so while I was here PANICKING ABOUT THE UNKNOWN he was making totally normal and reasonable arrangements with his normal and reasonable sister, and nobody is spending $35,000 on a funeral and everyone is aware that it would be more pleasant to keep that money for themselves and everything is fine.

AND! Someone thought of organ donation! Which I am so glad about, because even though I am an ADAMANT SUPPORTER OF ORGAN DONATION, even I didn't think of it in the shock of the moment. But thank goodness someone else did, so that was taken care of.

They're going with the least expensive burial option because it turns out two things were widely known about my mother-in-law (who, it must be said in her favor, tended to make her views WIDELY KNOWN): (1) she thought cremation was icky (and had bought a plot already), and (2) she thought it was stupid to spend more than the minimum on a funeral. One Budget Funeral, coming right up! AND this is one of those small-town places where everyone in a church takes their business, so there was no slick high-pressure stuff---more like "Okay then! Hey, Frank, it's one Neighborhood Special, no sides!"

ALSO, though so far it appears there is NO WILL NO WILL OMG NO WILL, she did have two small life insurance policies, one of the kind you get free if you have your account at a certain bank and one of the kind you sometimes get as part of your employment benefits. The two policies together will probably cover the funeral.

Also, Paul and his sister turn out to be able to figure things out JUST AS IF THEY WERE ADULTS, and are systematically going through their mom's house tossing junk out and deciding what they want to keep, and so far no one is fighting or biting, and everyone's being all matter-of-fact and just sort of taking care of what needs to be done, rather than sitting around going "huh?" which is what I was picturing.

Also, there was one person we COULD NOT REACH (she was on vacation and no one knew if she even HAD a cell phone) and we REALLY NEEDED TO REACH HER (it's my mother-in-law's only sibling), and I was a complete genius and thought of seeing if her kids were on Facebook, and they were, and I messaged them and within an hour she was calling Paul and his sister. So (1) I was a genius and my efforts were lauded, and (2) I felt like I was HELPING, which made me feel better and less useless.

Also, I caught up on the laundry a bit, and it turned out that even our king-sized quilt fit into the washing machine, so I could stop the endless circular fret-thread about how was I going to take it to a laundromat. And in fact, this little barf situation was for the best because that water was DARK. Kids have been jumping on this quilt with their shoes on for several years.

The children are still sick, but things don't seem quite so grim as they did this morning with no shower and a poor night's sleep and a huge pile of barfy laundry in the hallway and not knowing what was going on in another state. Now it seems more like, "Oh, the kids are sick. Guess they'll have to watch SpongeBob all day while I mess around on the computer."

46 comments:

Mary said...

Since your mother in law isn't going to find your website now, can we learn your kids real names? I'm so curious what the baby namer named her babies!

Mommy Daisy said...

Ha ha, I love it! "Oh, the kids are sick. Guess they'll have to watch SpongeBob all day while I mess around on the computer." LOL

Glad that things are getting better though. I was a little worried about you after the last post.

Dr. Maureen said...

Phew! I'm glad you can tone down the fretting. Fretting is no fun.

Alicia @ bethsix said...

SpongeBob is on in my house RIGHT NOW. (This is not remarkable because OH MY GOD, SPONGE BOB IS ON ALL THE FRICKIN' TIME.) It seems like there should be a channel for it.

Glad to hear things are "better." Hope there's no more barfing.

Nellyru said...

You know you are awesome, right?

Lindsay said...

Phew. Plus a little hee hee at how the MIL made her views so widely known that people knew how she wanted her funeral even without the will.

Shelly Overlook said...

Oh dear Swistle. Nellyru already said it, but you are pretty amazing let's face it. I wish you were closer so I could help you in some way other than empty words (that I really do mean!).

MzEll said...

Love and hugs. I'm so glad things are a little better today...

Jess said...

Oh, what a RELIEF. I have been FRETTING about this all morning!

jen said...

I'm so glad that things are falling into place!

d e v a n said...

PHEW!!!!! I was fretting as I read your other post, but now I'm so relieved for you! Also, WTG for helping with the FB situation.

Melissa Haworth said...

phew i was worried

Portia said...

This is all EXCELLENT news. So glad to hear it.

(Also, it is shameful to realize that apparently in the time since you last posted, you have done tons of laundry and contacted relatives and MOTHERED and stuff, and all I did was go buy more Diet Coke and make a grilled cheese. Sigh.)

Karen L said...

I'm glad you're feeling better! Now, I hope that the kids start feeling better, too.

Also WTG with FB!

Rah said...

I'm back on my chair now after falling off laughing: "Okay then! Hey, Frank, it's one Neighborhood Special, no sides!" You are hilarious.

Hope your kids feel better, and that your comfortableness continues.

Leah said...

Oh I am SO GLAD it is going better. I was fretting for you before. Yargh.

Sylvie said...

I'm glad you're feeling better -- funerals, deaths, rushing to pack, worrying... ALL VERY STRESSFUL. And I'd say in this situation perhaps even more stressful given the awkward. I applaud all your efforts! I'm glad you're watching Spongebob.

desperate housewife said...

I was going to say, "I hope you have a bag of nice chocolate sitting around somewhere to help you in your messing around on the computer," but then I remembered who I was talking to. And so, good job, Swistle! You helped out people states away, AND I have no doubt at all that you have a nice little chocolate stash tucked away to comfort you at just such times as this.
Hope it works.

aibee said...

So I guess my awkward internet hug worked then.

Heh.

ANYWAY

I'm SO GLAD things are being sorted out in an uncomplicated manner.

Love,

xx

Barb @ getupandplay said...

I'm glad things are looking up. I will hope for no more barfing at the very least!! :)

Fran said...

Very glad to hear things are working as well as they can Swistle. I worry about stuff like this too and while it doesn't always work out, it seems to work out okay most of the time.
I think that kids have some sort of built in mechanism that when they start to feel nauseous it kicks in and directs them to the point at which it would cause the MOST trouble to clean. Dogs have it to!

the new girl said...

Glad things are not so grim now.

And really, I have to say, I'd be JUST THAT FRETFUL with only the sick + barfy sick kid sitch.

REALLY.

lisa said...

Maybe I should call you to talk me off my ledge because I *freak out*, I mean full blown panic attack around barf. My daughter felt warm after her nap yesterday so I gave her some motrin. Then she started doing this cough thing and then there was one very distinct retch/gag (but no puke) and I went into panic mode.....all night. I got a terrible nights sleep because I was fretting about the fact that she *might* throw up. I don't know why I can't just chill the hell out about it....she was fine all night, she is still low-feverish this morning but is not barfing, and yet Im all "OMG OMG what if she barfs." Your situation-- the child comes up and barfs on the bed/me sound asleep in the middle of the night? That could quite possibly be the definition of my own personal hell. I hope everyone is better soon and the barfy laundry is taken care of quickly. ;) And that you don't get sick.

Christina said...

Guess I should have read this one first, eh?

So glad the financial stuff is taken care of - that was going to bug me FOR you, a lot.

When we got our new washing machine last year we were so excited b/c it was big enough to fit our comforter! Yay for all clean linens!

Today Wendy said...

Oh good, I'm glad things are getting sorted out. By the way, just in case anyone reading this doesn't have a washing machine big enough to fit their comforter...you can wash a comforter in the bathtub. Just pour it a bath, take your shoes off & stomp on it a bit, then drain the bath and stomp on it a bit more to get the water out. We discovered this during an emergency very similar to the one you are describing...except with a much smaller washing machine. You would think it wouldn't work...but the comforter was sparkling when it came out and smelled awesome.

Swistle said...

Today Wendy- This is the kind of idea that blows my mind because I wouldn't have been able to think of it. I'd been fretting about my quilt for a long time, and I've always been, like, "And I can't handwash it either, because it won't fit in the sink!" The BATHTUB. For heaven's sake, the bathtub.

Farrell said...

Your last line:
that is ONE (prob. the only) benefit of having sick kids.

Beth said...

glad everything is turning around for the better! i am also filled with curiosity regarding the real names of the babies of the baby-namer Swistle. maybe you can tell us now?

Kelly said...

glad things are clearing up. and yay for spongebob and pre-made funeral arrangements. and siblings who can make decisions together.

hang in there!!

Leeann said...

DUDE!!

Swistle, you are the very model of resilience! I would still be walking around grumbling and pitying myself for at least another half day.

Oh well, look at it this way. You have a whole half day of extra grumbling set aside to use as you please!

Keep hanging on, girlfriend!

Marie Green said...

I was reading your last post and this one while also making dinner, which was tricky (to say the least). As if making dinner with three "helpers" isn't enough of a workout in multi-tasking! Anyway, I had so many things to say but no hands to type...

I still can't believe you're MIL has passed away! I've thought of it several times in the past couple of days, and it shocks me every time... did she (or you guys) know she was ill during her last visit? Just curious.

Also, having sick kids sucks in-and-of itself enough, but to have THREE sick kids, one with the barfs, and no husband is... is... there are no words. Especially when you thought your husband was off blowing the braces fund to boot.

I'm so glad that the day has given you a better perspective... I would have been feeling the same way as you were, but I probably wouldn't have recovered as quickly!

Thinking of you often!

Swistle said...

Marie Green- TOTAL SURPRISE, to all of us including her. Just...heart attack, bam. It's been two and a half days and I'm still Really Surprised. Also, it can't have sunk in yet, because I keep thinking stuff like, "I CANNOT find this address---well, I guess I should just ask MIL." Then: "...Oh."

Jewels said...

Woo hoo Organ Donation!

Stacia said...

Glad things are getting better! Sounds like the family is being very sensible, which is good news. The Neighborhood Special line cracked me up. Hope the kids get less fevery and pukey!

cardiogirl said...

As I'm sure tons of people have said, this is so wild considering she was just visiting and you were, uh, writing about it.

Regardless, I have to take my hat off to you regarding your Facebook Coup. Smart thinking, Agent.

Tess said...

This is quite shocking, and I am very sorry, and also what can I do to ENSURE that no one pays $35,000 to dispose of my corpse?! GAH! I get panicky just THINKING of that! I sort of hope to use my last dime on my funeral, but in lieu of that a nice bonfire will do just fine.

Tracy H. said...

So glad things are looking up!

Pickles and Dimes said...

Wow, what a shock. Are the kids taking it OK?

I wouldn't want anyone to spend $35,000 on my funeral. Cremation, baby!

jiveturkey said...

I'm going through the sympathetic rollercoaster here reading all these posts at once. I don't know what to comment on first, so I'll just say everything here: I'm sorry about your MIL, super-sorry about all the logistical stress (funeral planning SUCKS THE ASS OF ASS), and OH WOE, so very sorry about the barf. Not that barf trumps a death in the family, but you know. Barfy laundry is traumatic in and of itself.

Aimee @ Smiling Mama said...

SO glad to hear these updates and that you have been able to feel helpful. I have been trying to subtly and carefully mention the concept of a WILL to my in-laws for the past year but so far no progress on that front.

Also, I was going to comment on the previous post that I think it is almost REQUIRED that important items are forgotten when packing for funerals. I come from a very, very large tight-knit family so attended MANY funerals in my young life. My parents ALWAYS forgot some key item of apparel or hygene and we had to to go K-mart (pre-Target days, of course!) to get shoes or a belt or even an entire outfit for a child on the eve or morning of the funeral.

Brooke said...

I'm sorry to hear about your and Paul's loss. I know, I know, but still, right?

Anonymous said...

I'm so late to all of this but OMG when I read that I literally gasped and sat looking at the computer, my mouth agape. I'm so sorry for your loss. I mean, it was sudden and any death is sad.

I'm glad things are going smoothly. That takes a lot of stress off.

Just wow.

samanthajocampen at gmail dot com

Anonymous said...

Just FYI - funeural homes often have a super low priced coffin that they don't have in the showroom - plywood box covered in grey felt...but not as ugly as that sounds...I think around $200 as opposed to the $5,000 ones we were shown...my grandpa would have been proud we didn't spend the college fund to bury him.

Secret Mom Thoughts said...

Glad things are not so grim. Hope the kids are feeling better soon.

JackeeG4glamorous said...

Just got caught up reading your "visit" post last week....very shocked to hear of her untimely demise. (liek when IS it timely?)
Condolences to you, Paul and the children. Each day will get better.

NOte to self: THE BATHTUB, OH BOY!

mamarose said...

Whoa. I disappear for a few days feeling icky, and a LOT. HAPPENS. Lesson learned.