Updating the No More Babies situation is a tough call. Every time I talk about it I get a few ugly comments, and who likes that? Nobody! And also, I feel so blicky talking about how "wah, wah, I've only had five helpings," when other people haven't even had a first helping yet.
Still. This is a big thing to me, and it seems to me that "wanting a child" is a big thing to a lot of people, and so it's worth discussing---whether a person has zero children or one child or two children or eight children or whatever. But I plan to be brief about it and just sort of sum it up, not go on and on.
The reason I'm doing such a PREAMBLE is to give you a chance to duck out if you'd rather chew tin foil than hear a woman with five children give an update about wanting another child. I'm not going to talk about anything else in this post, so it's safe to take a pass on the whole thing.
Last chance! Last chance!
So. It was mid-December when Paul and I had the big talk. It took me several weeks to be able to find any positive things to say at all, and to work out a wallowing system. I found I felt better when I shopped and when I ate yummies and when I did fun stuff, and I felt even better when I thought about my niece and about the babies THREE of my friends were/are expecting and all the babies my online friends were/are expecting: it reminded me that I can still enjoy happy anticipation and happy family expansion, even if it's not happening in my exact household or barfing in my exact toilet.
Even so, I spent a solid two months feeling overall awful. Almost as if the sixth child already existed, and I had failed to save him/her, and now he/she was lost. Desperate.
The third month, I felt the first inklings that this might be a temporary feeling. I'm sure it had nothing to do with Henry getting full-swing into the Toddler Nutcase Era just as everyone came down with a nasty snarfing coughing cold accompanied by cough-related barfing.
And now it is almost the end of the fourth month, and I'd say I feel bad about it only 5% of the time, which is really really really good, and better than I'd been hoping for. Furthermore, I probably feel GOOD about it 5% of the time, too---also way better than I'd been hoping for. And perhaps most importantly of all, I'm spending large% of the time NOT THINKING ABOUT IT AT ALL.
Still, if you'd like to expand your family to make me feel better, please do. Very thoughtful of you.
Gift ideas for an 8-year-old, part 2 of 2 - Last week I talked about the gifts we were getting/considering for Edward, who is turning 8 next month. This week it’s Elizabeth’s turn: not “girl gifts,” ...