July 20, 2008

Tomorrow: Brownies!

Tonight is the end of the fast. It was a freaky experience, the whole thing. The novelty was interesting; it wasn't as impossible as I'd expected (it was even a relief to not have to think endlessly about What to Eat Next); I have some new tools for eating less (boullion is yummy!); and for the first time in about two months I'm looking forward to my Monday weigh-in. Also: to breakfast. I bought some Raisin Bran Crunch, the beautiful love child of Frosted Flakes and Raisin Bran.

I think six days was my limit: this morning (the seventh) my muscles felt weak and weird, and I didn't feel enthusiastic about the idea anymore. And Erica did TEN days, and she didn't do any messing around with modifications like I did. Plus, tomorrow I'm going to be eating a pan of brownies with an experimental peppermint glaze, and Erica is going to be having surgery. So I'd say I got the way easier end of this, just sort of across the board.

Speaking of who gets it easier, I have been seeing some magazine headlines that are cheesing me off. US Weekly says "A-Rod's Wife: Destroyed by Madonna." People magazine says "Madonna's Mess: Did She Bust Up A-Rod's Marriage?" Do you know who is responsible for busting up A-Rod's marriage, if he had an affair with Madonna? A-Rod. Certainly I can see why A-Rod's wife would be pissed with Madonna---but if we're talking about responsibility, A-Rod's marriage contract is A-Rod's responsibility, not Madonna's.

Angelina Jolie is always getting that kind of crap, too, and I wonder why BRAD PITT doesn't get 100% of that crap? Angelina Jolie didn't make a binding legal and romantic contract with Jennifer Aniston, BRAD PITT did. Angelina Jolie didn't leave Jennifer Aniston for someone else, BRAD PITT did. If we are wondering if anything Happened before the end of the marriage, the person who should be getting Eyes of Suspicion is the one bound by the terms of that marriage, namely BRAD PITT. Can I use their full names a few more times? ANGELINA JOLIE BRAD PITT JENNIFER ANISTON.

Pay-it-forward updates:

Cookiemonks is showing the giftie she got.

Blondie Speaks is showing the giftie she got, and starting a new contest.


Maggie said...

You are a better woman than I am for fasting at all - modified or not, I don't think that I could have done it. Just thinking about it sent me straight for some food to nibble on.

But peppermint glaze on a brownie?! Now THAT is an idea that I could get behind!

Michelle said...

Oooo, a pan of brownies. That sounds so yummy to me right now (me who just ate one of the noodle soups that I won from your massive PIF bomb and realized that 210 calories a dinner does NOT make). And I still don't know how you survived on 1,000 calories a day for 7 days. I'll be interested to see how you feel about food tomorrow!

And as far as the rest goes... AMEN. And I'll let it at that.

Laura said...

Thank you for speaking the truth about responsibility in marriage.

Also, thank you for giving me a good reason to shop -- maggie won my pif contest and now I get to make a Target run!

Can't wait to read about how the brownies turn out!

Kristi said...

Great job on making it through 6 days of that modified fast. That's just enough calories to keep your body from ketosis, but not enough to give you any energy!!!!

I've also wondered myself why the media feels the need to constantly focus on that particular issue! Obviously, feminine wiles are to be feared and punished! We are powerful - don't piss us off!

Nowheymama said...


Kate said...

Oh great, I've been fighting off the urge to somehow obtain some brownies, and I haven't even FASTED mind you, but somehow your post is kind of pushing me over the edge. Mmm, brownies.

A few months ago I had a rather lengthy conversation with a friend about the ethics of being the one who is involved with the married (or otherwise seriously committed) person. I think you put it very nicely, and I plan on borrowing your Pitt/Jolie/Aniston analogy sometime. Like when I call my friend to annoyingly resume the conversation now that I am armed with a good celebrity analogy. It's just too hard to talk about, sometimes, when you're using real life examples.

Also I wonder if it works the other way around, do men get blamed (in the media) for breaking up marriages when they are the "other man"? I truly don't know, since I haven't picked up a paper in oh, nine months. Yes I just admitted that. But my question stands.

Okay I think rather than further admitting how I'm living on my own planet these days, I'll go figure out a way to get those brownies. Thanks as always swistle!

Kate said...

Um, in case it wasn't clear, the "thanks" at the end of my comment was a sincere one for your always wonderful posts, not a sarcastic one for sending me on the brownie mission.

Clarabella said...

Um, brownies. YUM! Excellent fast-breaker, or breakfast, however you want to think about it.
And on the marriage thing, AMEN.
I am really leaving you a comment to tell you that I just did a "wordle" (http://wordle.net/) on both my "blogs" and you (Swistle, the Title) were the MAIN WORD in BOTH of them, so I think it's official, you are my main online obsession. Don't you feel special? I swear I'm not a stalker.

pseudostoops said...

YES thank you in re: A-Rod/Madonna/Angelina/Brad kerfuffle.

That is not coherent, per se, but I think you get my drift which is AMEN SISTER.

Swistle said...

Kristi- Exactly! We can break up a marriage any time we want. Because we are GIRLS!

Kate- I'm trying to think, too, about whether I've ever seen a man get blamed. Well, one example where he hasn't: I haven't seen any headlines about A-ROD busting up MADONNA'S marriage, or anything referring to him as a "homewrecker."

Clarabella- Ha ha ha! You crazy stalker! Stay off my lawn! (Come in for brownies instead!)

zoot said...

Yes - the whole Team Jolie and Team Anniston thing kinda freaked me out. Why wasn't there a team Brad Needs To Keep It In His Pants.

Disclaimer: I really love all three parties involved and never pretend to know what happens in relationships nor do I voice opinions about ones that arent not my own. It was just perplexing to me that the WOMEN were the center of that debate.

Swistle said...

Zoot- Exactly! As if somehow this was just a property dispute between the two women, and Brad had nothing to do with it. And as if the rest of us could "pick sides"! And the sides were always "Which is the good woman and which is the bad one?" Aaaaagh!

Jess said...

I am trying to think of reverse examples to see if this is a sexist thing or not, and I can't think of any. So I hereby declare, based on my very scientific method of racking my brain for three seconds, that it IS sexist. And BAD. I mean, not that it's GOOD to be the other woman, but that doesn't mean that you should get all the blame for the person you're with breaking their marriage vows.

Alias Mother said...

I so hear you on the whole "blame the woman" phenom. I think it's an outgrowth of the "men are stupid" line of thinking. Somewhere along the way we decided that men are complete infants and are no longer responsible for acting like adults in the housework/child care/keeping it in their pants department (just to name the few areas that make me, personally, crazy).

Who loses ultimately? Women. What's that paranoid-but-possibly-true line of thinking? That the patriachy keeps women fighting among each other and worrying about trivial matters so that we use up all our energy and stay in our place?

Wow, you apparently hit a nerve with me. And I've never even been cheated on!

Omaha Mama said...

Amen on the whole Madonna/A-Rod/Jolie/Pitt stuff, you are 100% correct and it begs to be said. Keep it in your pants boys!

I chickend out on the whole fasting thing because I struggle lots with blood sugar issues and was afraid a liquid diet could seriously mess with that. I didn't want to spend a week feeling faint and shaky.

Brownies! Yay!!!

Misty said...

Well men can't control their sexual impulses and are very visual and so it is always a woman's fault if he looks at her and feels desire in his heart. She shouldn't be wearing those clothes/be in that environment/have that body. I mean, if she doesn't want to be responsible for breaking up marriages, then she just plain old shouldn't EXIST!

Duh, right?

At least that is what they taught us in church. (Also: suspiciously close to cocamamie bullshit people use to blame the victim who has been raped.)

Mary said...

If you love Raisin Bran Crunch (which I do), you should try Fiber One's Raisin Bran...it tastes just as good, but it fills you up for longer. I was surprised that I liked it, I mean it is Fiber One, but it's really good.

Farrell said...

RE: the A-Rod/Brangelina thing: YOU ARE ONE SMART COOKIE woman!!
i don't get why other people don't get it.

CAQuincy said...

I was once almost in a fight in high school because this chick's boyfriend asked ME out. Honey, please. Am *I* really the one you should be threatening in the hallways, here? I didn't even know he HAD a gf!

You SAID it, Swistle!

Kelsey said...

How did the peppermint glaze work out?

alpacalifestyle said...

Kind of late to the discussion here, but just thought of a comparable celebrity situation where a man was the third party: Dennis Quaid, Meg Ryan and Russell Crowe. No one gave Crowe flak about breaking up the marriage of Meg and Dennis. And Meg was branded a hussy and her career hasn't recovered since. So it's clearly a double standard. And women are always to blame.

Astarte said...

It's ALWAYS the woman's fault. Throughout history, that's how it's been, even when woman couldn't vote or own property or have an education. Personally, I hate Brad Pitt, and I don't go to his movies. Actually, I don't care for Angelina Jolie, either, but only because in interviews she exudes an air of holier-than-me. The whole A-Hole thing disgusts me. Not that I like Ms. Fake-Accent Madonna, but still. Although I don't hear anyone talking about how upset her husband is... does this mean he doesn't care, or is he just untouchable as a man? My college boyfriend cheated on me twice, and I never blamed either girl. It was him, and I dumped his sorry ass after the second time. Ugh.

Anyway, hooray for you on finishing the fast!!!! Brownies.... yum!

Jen said...

Totally totally totally agree with you on responsibility for marriage vows, etc. Please, let's all just take some responsibility for what we do, shall we?